User blog:HumphreyDumphrey/One Big, Crazy, Amazing Adventure

Why am I doing it this way?

Because I couldn't do it any other way.

The idea that mutated into the Decline of Empire Saga first bubbled out of my subconscious early in the first term of the second Bush presidency. And it wasn't really much of an idea: a satire written as a fantasy novel. Not terribly original. Not groundbreaking satire.

But some ideas take root in the deep dark parts of your brain and scream "I'm still here!" at you in the middle of the night. This was one of those.

The more things in the real world turned into a farce, the more the story grew.

"Write that book" my brain kept saying.

To shut my brain up, I started writing down ideas. I wasn't ready to write the book yet, but I could keep a list of ideas ready for the day when all the creative stars lined up just right. That was two presidential elections ago. And my brain has never shut up about it.

The stars have never lined up. Because they never do. Creating isn't something you do when you have time, it's something you have to do regardless of how much time you've got. I just couldn't get past the enormous pile of fear that I had built inside my head.

"I'M NOT READY YET!!!!" I protested to myself. "Soon," I said.

And so here we are: it's many years later, and I'm many years older. The world is still ridiculous, and I'm still writing down ideas, still thinking about that one day in the future when it will be written. But when? It has become too big -- too many characters, too many plot lines, too many events, too many reasons not to sit down and sort it all out.

Sometimes when something seems entirely impossible, a way emerges.

"Put it out there" my brain said.

"Shut up brain!" I said back.

"Put it out there" my brain said again. And again. And again and again and again.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said.

"It's not too big for the Internets" my brain said as though that was some sort of sensible answer. "It'll be fun. It'll be an adventure! It'll be one big, crazy, amazing adventure in creativity."

My brain knows me too well.

"But how?" I asked.

"Build a Wiki" it said. "Put everything out there. Let people get involved. See what happens. Because if you don't, I am going to drive you insane. Again."

So here we are. And I'm terrified. And excited. And terrified. So much can go wrong, and probably will. What if no one comes? What if everyone comes? What if this is the most shit idea ever in the history of ideas. What if someone steals it? What if no one steals it? What if a whole lot of people work really hard to help create something amazing and then no one else gives a shit?

Art is hard. This probably isn't art, but it probably will be hard.

I sincerely hope it will be one big, crazy, amazing adventure.

If you choose to be a part of it, I thank you most sincerely. If you choose to sit on the side and criticise, I thank you as well. If it fails, it is my fault. If it succeeds, I thank you.

Keep smiling.

Humphrey (not my real name)